Chicagoland Meteorologist Power Rankings
Editors note: I wanted to publish this on Monday during the snow storm but I snow plowed all day and then slept all day Tuesday... So yeah.
To quote Bart Simpson " I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." A pretty accurate way to describe the weather in Chicago if you ask me. Blizzards, thunder snow, and polar vortexes in the Winter. Tornadoes, flood watches, and heat waves in the Summer. Not to mention all of the above during the Spring and Fall.
As someone who works outside, I'm at the mercy of Mother Nature. That manic hooker of a woman. These poor saps have the unenviable job of telling me when she's on her mensies. As stated before, I watch a lot of local news programming. Enough to make me want to power rank local weather personalities for fun. ( There are varying degrees of fun. Stop judging.) Here we go...
1.) Skilling: I dropped the Tom because Skilling is an icon like Prince or Madonna. The reigning king of Chicago weather. Skilling does what he wants, when he wants. If he needs 40 minutes to explain to us the difference between a Saskatchewan screamer and an Alberta clipper then you best believe WGN will make sure he gets 40 mins. He legit teaches me shit. All joking aside, I really do think he does whatever he wants. I once saw him explain a picture of ice melting on a house for goddamn near 4 minutes. No one is going to tell him otherwise. Skilling has earned that respect.
2) Jerry Taft: Abc 7's chief meteorologist is captain of an all-star weather team with 4 members in my top 10. Impressive, but not the reason I ranked him so high. Mark Giangreco's stories of boozing with Jerry Taft on Waddle & Silvy's radio show is the reason. My rankings, my rules.
3.) Cheryl Scott: If Skilling is the king of Chicago weather then Cheryl Scott is Game of Throne's Daenerys Targaryen. Khaleesi is coming for that throne with a vengeance. On air, on social media, on the jumbotron at Hawks games, in the tabloids, Scott is everywhere and every Chicagoan is better for it. I ain't mad about it, that's for sure.. NBC5 should have thrown a trunk full of money at her when they had the chance. She jumped ship to Abc7 and never looked back. She'll own this city one day as long as some stupid ass national show like Good Morning America or Today doesn't scoop her up.
4.) Brant Miller: Along with Skilling and Taft, Brant Miller is part of the "Old school" of Chicago weather. A solid weatherman by all accounts. I personally would've ranked him lower, but his power suit game and slicked back hair scares me. Any lower than 4 and he might have me dead and buried in an abandoned lot somewhere near Cicero. Weatherman by day, mafioso kingpin by night. Nothing but respect Mr. Miller please don't kill me. Seriously, look at that picture and tell me he isn't a pinky ring away from giving someone cement shoes.
5.)Paul Konrad: this explains it all
6.) Tracy Butler: Lovable & charismatic, Tracy Butler is a staple of Chicago weather. Butler is a fan favorite and Chicago darling. I also thoroughly enjoy her visits with Carmen & Jurko. True story: Butler is the first woman to ever break my heart. As a young 10 year old Bologna my 4th grade class submitted drawings for Butlers "weather sketchers" segment. One of the only school projects I ever gave 100% effort in. I can even remember coming up with a witty weather related pun for my title. But for all my effort, I got denied and some white girl got her drawing shown on the news instead. Last time I ever tried in school. Thanks a lot Tracy Butler.
7.) Demetrius Ivory: Up and coming. I like the cut of his gib, whatever that means. Ivory is being groomed by Konrad in comedy and Skilling in actual meteorology. If all goes as planned Ivory will be a weatherman juggernaut sooner rather than later. He's like the Golden State Warriors of last year.
8.) Phil Schwartz: Schwartz is the gas station pizza after a night of drinking of meteorologist. Not bad but not great either. Gets the job done.
9.) Steve Baskerville: Another old school weatherman. Baskerville seems like a nice enough dude, but CBS news sucks. I almost never watch. Not his fault though. His newscast can be a dumpster fire yet he'll keep on smiling. Always smiling. Creepy but I like it.
10.) Bill Bellis: He gets the 10 spot by default for being head of Fox's weather team, but honestly he drew the short end of the stick by being up against Skilling during the 9 o'clock hour. Tough luck Bellis. That's like Jordan vs Ehlo all over again. Dead man walking.
Honorable mention: Alicia Roman, Andy Avalos, Megan Glaros and Tammie Souza.
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