C'mon Man!!!!!

I'll be the first to tell you that sometimes I dress like a 15 year old kid at a skate park. But that doesn't take away from the fact that I LOVE ME SOME FASHION! I'm proud that I know how to pronounce Yves Saint Laurent and Ermenegildo Zegna. I can appreciate a bespoke suit or a good sweater and tie combo. I know what your thinking. No I am not. O.k. Keep reading, I"m about to learn you something. Weekend after weekend in the City of Chicago I see several fashion trends/statements that need to end NOW!! Some of my friends and family are in on these epic fails and I'm not trying to call you out. You've just been sucked into believing that it's OK to go out like this or maybe you just don't care in which case, GOOD FOR YOU, but here are some things that I'm OK with never seeing again.





Board Shorts? C'MON MAN!!! Dammit you're wearing swim trunks in public. We're not at the beach, this isn't SoCal, and your not Kelly Slater. Put some regular khaki or cargo's on and join us regular non surf wearing dudes at the beer garden.




Jean Shorts? OHH HELL NO! I'll give you a pass if you're a dad, you're over 40 yrs old or under 12. If not, you should not own a pair of these! WARNING!!!! If I see a pair of jeans or jean shorts on the golf course I might have to throw my 9iron at you Elin style.



DIRTY ASS,OLD ASS CUBS AND SOX HATS!!! C'MON MAN! Seriously 50% of A'holes on both northside and southside bars seem to be wearing a hat that is older than their grandfather. Not only is it old,torn and dirty but they insist on bending it like a taco and wearing it on the very top of their heads like a god damn yarmulke. BUY A NEW HAT!!!!!!




Once it hits 50 degrees in Chicago, people cannot wait to bust out their ugly ass feet. I don't know how this became socially acceptable but it has snowballed and has gotten out of hand. THESE ARE SHOWER SHOES PEOPLE!!!! They were made for you not to get foot fungus in gym or dorm showers, not for you to go to dinner in. Is it really that inconvenient to put on socks and shoes? " Ohh, but I just want to be comfortable" Tough Shit! Plenty of gym shoes are comfortable. Cover up your stank feet you lazy fucks! C'MON MAN!




Last but not least is this ridiculous trend. Grown men are really going out in public with bedazzled shirts. What are people thinking? Hmm polo? No. Dress shirt? No. Rhinestone unicorn t-shirt? Hell Yeah! C'MON MAN!!!! I don't care how expensive your shirt is. Unless your name is Rampage Jackson you do not look tough with a sequined Pegasus or gargoyle on your chest. Also I'm pretty sure you suck at life.


Song of the day: Islands by The xx

Comments

  1. &May 4, 2010 at 9:38 PM

    Best blog yet! You need a girls version!

    ReplyDelete
  2. RickMay 5, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    I think this IS the girls version...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amy GorchosSeptember 2, 2010 at 9:27 PM

    There. Now you officially have two followers.

    If you make posts, they will come...

    ReplyDelete
  4. RickNovember 5, 2010 at 9:19 PM

    this blog SUKS

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousNovember 22, 2012 at 3:52 AM

    you really got a point... i don't like those bedazzled shorts either...

    ReplyDelete

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