BREAKING NEWS!!! BLACKHAWKS WILL LOSE IN 1ST ROUND

I'm sorry Chicago but cancel the parades, put away the jerseys and send Mikita and Hull down to Del Boca Vista for a while. The Blackhawks are done for. I hate to be the one to break the news but I got some juicy information this week from an inside source that will bring tears to Tommy Hawks big old creepy eyes.

Typically the first rule of journalism is never reveal your sources. Makes sense, but Bologna doesn't play by the rules! Also, 7 blogs in 5 years doesn't even make me a blogger let alone a journalist but I'm getting off topic. My source is an old man that walks his dog around my neighborhood and we tend to cross paths rather frequently. He knows I follow sports and hockey in particular because of the Hawks flag that waves from my front stoop. So here is our conversation. 

Old man: I'm not liking what I'm seeing with the Blackhawks.

Me: NO? They seem to be playing alright

Old Man: NOPE! They don't got it this year. 

Me: Really?

Old Man: Yeah, I watch them play and they don't got it. They don't like each other.

Me: You think so?

Old Man: Did you hear about Patrick Sharp?

(I knew where this was going and to me this wasn't even news a month ago when the rumor mill was working at 100 but I kept with it because our dogs were playing and the look on this old man's face was as if he was about to tell me he discovered the atom.)

Old man: PATRICK SHARP SLEPT WITH KANE"S GIRLFRIEND AND DUNCAN KEITH"S WIFE!!!!!

Me: Really?!?

Old man: Yeah, and a bunch of the ice girls and that weather girl from Ch.7

Me:Cheryl Scott?

Old Man: yeah her. He slept with all of them, His teammates hate him and I don't blame them.

Me: Well I mean they'll still make the playoffs.

Old man: Yeah but they'll lose first round. I guarantee it. You can't have this nonsense behind the scenes. They should've traded him. 

So there you have it folks.Forget that the Blackhawks haven't lost in March. Forget that they're 10-1-1 since Kane's injury. Forget that they're only 4 points back from first place and forget that they're a veteran team with championship pedigree. The Old man walking his dog says The Blackhawks will bust out of the playoffs because Patrick Sharp couldn't keep his dick dry. It's a damn shame.

  


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