Petes Bologna

A video posted by Claire Crookston (@clairecroox10) on Mar 28, 2015 at 3:14pm PDT I don't care that he's 52 years old. I don't care that he's got a Bologna sized beer belly. I don't care that he's playing pick up basketball with Tom Brady and Keegan Bradley against some random bro's on vacation. Every time I see a video like this I immediately start dreaming of a M.J. comeback. I'm not saying he can lead the league in scoring but I will go to my grave convinced that His Airness can still drop 15 on most teams. No logic behind my assumptions, just 100%  pure unabashed Chicago fanboy adoration. P.S.- How about that vacation of a lifetime for those dudes. Just trying to sweat last nights beer out when here comes Keegan Bradley, Tommy Brady and god damn Michael Fucking Jordan. I legitimately don't even know how I would react but with my luck I'd probably piss myself, pass out and pop a boner all at the same time... still would be wor...

Remember as a kid when you thought mixing two things that were great would make them even better? I once mixed Fruit Loops with red Kool-aid thinking it would be the best thing in the world but it just turned out to be a soupy bowl of diabetes.  On paper this should've worked. I love the White Sox. I love the Barden Bellas but somehow I hate this. I hate this so much. I think it comes down to the "all about the k's, no trouble" line. That song sucks. Cheese-ball City. Take that away and you might have a decent poster. P.s.- I can't wait for baseball season and I can't wait for Pitch Perfect 2. In all likelihood I'm going to be massively dissapointed with both.  

As you may have heard Zayn has left One Direction. What does that mean? Fuck if I know, What I do know is that this is the perfect opportunity for 1D to go from a boy band to a MAN BAND. So without further ado I submit my resume to become a One Direction member. Objective: To be one of the blokes. Do you guys use the term blokes? I watch a lot of English football (soccer) and used to listen to The Streets a lot so I'm pretty familiar with the slang. Already that seems like a plus but I'll go on. Musical Skills:  Proficient in all 3 Rock Band and Rock Band 2 instruments (Drums, guitar and vocals) on hard level. Not so great on expert but I wouldn't exactly call you guys expert singers either right? Good yes. Expert? Nah. Ain't nobody got time for dat! I watched season 1 of The Voice and learned a lot about what it takes to impress the Maroon 5 guy and how to talk to Carson Daly I can play 1 Dashboard Confessional, 1 Weezer, and .5 Alkaline Trio songs on...

Editors note: I wanted to publish this on Monday during the snow storm but I snow plowed all day and then slept all day Tuesday... So yeah.  To quote Bart Simpson " I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows." A pretty accurate way to describe the weather in Chicago if you ask me. Blizzards, thunder snow, and polar vortexes in the Winter. Tornadoes, flood watches, and heat waves in the Summer. Not to mention all of the above during the Spring and Fall.  As someone who works outside, I'm at the mercy of Mother Nature. That manic hooker of a woman. These poor saps have the unenviable job of telling me when she's on her mensies. As stated before,  I watch a lot of local news programming.  Enough to make me want to power rank local weather personalities for fun. ( There are varying degrees of fun. Stop judging.) Here we go... 1.) Skilling: I dropped the Tom because Skilling is an icon like Prince or Madonna. The...

I'm sorry Chicago but cancel the parades, put away the jerseys and send Mikita and Hull down to Del Boca Vista for a while. The Blackhawks are done for. I hate to be the one to break the news but I got some juicy information this week from an inside source that will bring tears to Tommy Hawks big old creepy eyes. Typically the first rule of journalism is never reveal your sources. Makes sense, but Bologna doesn't play by the rules! Also, 7 blogs in 5 years doesn't even make me a blogger let alone a journalist but I'm getting off topic. My source is an old man that walks his dog around my neighborhood and we tend to cross paths rather frequently. He knows I follow sports and hockey in particular because of the Hawks flag that waves from my front stoop. So here is our conversation.  Old man: I'm not liking what I'm seeing with the Blackhawks. Me: NO? They seem to be playing alright Old Man: NOPE! They don't got it this year.  Me: Really? ...

A lot has changed from the time I started this blog almost 5 years ago. The main change being it feels like I've aged about 2 goddamn decades. When I started this I was a bushy tailed 20 something with an optimistic future and a hardcore case of 'Peter Pan syndrome.' I've gone from a kid who refused to grow up to an ornery and crotchety old man embracing his inner Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. Aging is a frightening thing when you see it happening in real time. I've put these moments in order of scariest. 10.) I watch the news : Seriously, who watches the news? Old people. Younger Bologna might have watched the news every once in a while. Mostly as background noise while waiting for Kimmel or Leno/Fallon to start. NOT ANYMORE!!!! My old ass will watch any news programming available. W.G.N. morning news is a must watch with the wacky antics of Tomasulo & Bumgarner. Midday news? Yup, gotta get that Skilling forecast. Evening news = Giangreco at his finest. ...

20 years ago yesterday Michael Jordan released this simple statement to the press. following in M.J's footsteps I would also like to announce "I"M BACK." That's it and thats all. Song of the Day: Mark Morrison "Return of the Mack"